hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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