I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
