I must be too annoying 4 u.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
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Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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