I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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