he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
