wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
