She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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