i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
