I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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