I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
