i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
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Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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