I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize