ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
