Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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