guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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