he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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