Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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