this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
