he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
