she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
