Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
