toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
