Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It all started with a game of naked twister.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
