you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize