he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Floor bacon is actually really good
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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