So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
