Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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