tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
