you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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