So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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