I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
