Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
