I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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