Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
