it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
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I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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