I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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