my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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