R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
