i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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