do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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