I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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