Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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