I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
