girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
