He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
my poor anus
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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