Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
