When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize