His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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