Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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