So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize