I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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