It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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