i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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