How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
