....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she looked like the before picture.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
